inflammation

Has your rage turned cold? 

The psyche, like the body, has acute inflammation. A rising of heat to burn our toxins. In the body this fights illness or infection, in the psyche it helps us to rail against a hurt,injustice, abuse or neglect. Acute inflammation is clear, clean, straightforward and it strengthens us.

Chronic inflammation which is at the heart of so many physical problems, cancer, heart disease, tissue and organ damage, is also present in the psyche.  

There are many reasons for chronic inflammation including but not limited to; environment, chemicals in our food, cleaning and beauty products, air pollution, climate change, addictive substances. For more on how to address inflammation through food  and lifestyle choices I suggest researching or consulting with an Ayurvedic practitioner. Here is one that I recommend; Danielle at Living Arts Ayurveda.

But I have been reflecting quite a bit on the emotional, psychological, and energetic aspect of chronic inflammation and how this plays through our body. This may show as bitterness, resentment, constant annoyance, fatigue, pain.

There is something deeply damaging about a slow inflamed heat, the burn that never rises up fully enough to be seen, understood, released. That never has a safe enough outlet to express, be felt/embodied and released without causing unnecessary harm. This kind of inflammation never gets to dispel, so never fully goes away. It simmers like a cauldron, it grinds and rubs and irritates. An irritation that lives in the inbetween. 

In the body, this slow burn inflames the connective tissue. In our lives, it inflames our connections. 

The connections between us and others, us and our passions, divinity, pleasure, between us and the world, and at the base of it, between us and ourselves. This kind of slow burn is isolating, insidious and pervasive. It lives in a way we can forget it sometimes, we grow so used to it we lose the fact there may be other ways to be and feel.

This slow “cold” rage is bitter and resentful. It is poison to us. 

The energy needs to move ro clear, the toxic waters need to run out, be expressed creatively, therapeutically, transformationally. The thing that never was said needs to be said, the NO you couldn’t shout needs to be shouted, the fire rising up and saying- HEY Don’t cross this line. And laughter- sometimes this fiery energy releases through a good long belly laugh! 

And this is so powerful! We want this available in our toolbox whenever we need it. AND at some point the wound will be ready to scab over and heal. So what do we do then? 

I believe the next step is tied to compassion and forgiveness. 

Number 1; Can you forgive yourself? Most of us have had zero examples of any kind of healthy fire expression. In our culture we are usually shown violent harm or repression. Remember we make the choices we need to make to survive. What if you gave yourself this grace: That you, at any time, are doing the best you can with the resources you have.That you no longer need to continue to admonish yourself for not standing up for yourself more, or for denying your intuition, or……(insert the way you are holding yourself hostage here..) Otherwise regret can wreak havoc on us. Honor that we are ALL LEARNING all the time. If you try on this grace and self-compassion for a moment or two.. For 5 or 10 breaths, what happens to the inner inflammation?

Now- Can you forgive others? For instance, I see so many people whose parents are long dead and gone, yet who still hold a bitter taste in their mouths for the pains of their upbringing. How is this disrupting your connections now? What needs to be expressed, no matter how old? And what needs to be forgiven? Can you also offer your grace to the people who have caused your pain? That they were just doing the best they could with the resources they had? Resources include any kind of training, grounding, outlet, and support.

There is a practice by Thich Nhat Hanh to develop compassion. You look at a childhood photo of the one you are having trouble forgiving. Gaze at it and feel your heart center. They are also just humans, flawed, in pain, doing their best. This photo could be of you.

Christal Brown calls it sacred friends;  people who we have “hired” into our life to truly build our capacity to love. Without the very REAL challenges these people bring to our lives we would not truly have a chance to expand our hearts.

Now there is a love mask, and it is good to be careful of this. The love mask is repression, it feeds the slow burn and inflammation because we pretend all is well, but it is not. We are performing compassion without feeling compassion. You will know the difference through sensation, through tracking the burn.

In Core Energetics, as well as other practices, the teaching is that you need to go through the pain and defenses to find the true higher self. That you cannot hop from mask to “enlightened” being, without experiencing the pain held inside. Without allowing yourself to FEEL. Feel the rage, the heat, feel the grief, feel the loss, feel then…the love. There is defensive hard pain, and then deep soft pain. The hard pain wants to punish and disconnect. When that gets burned out and honored as the defense system that it is, it gets composted to the more vulnerable soft pain of loss and grief. This pain feels deeper because it is right next to our core, to our most authentic and divine self. And as it moves you are clearing the way. You are releasing the inflammation. You are tending to the land after the fire. 

Because we are the land, and not the fire. 

Imagine the bitterness draining away, imagine the resentment gone. Imagine the friction releasing. What do you need to reconcile within yourself? 

Who do you need to forgive?